You changed the days into happy ones The strange ways of looking up the sun You blew the clouds away from the murky sky To clear the things up and resist a goodbye
You played your cards so well Those aces you matched without a yell You laid them like you’re a topnotch player Hiding nothing in winter’s cold and in the hot summer
All the while, everybody knows you’re tired of me The reasons are there for you to believe and see I thought the love I’ve shown you is enough to love me I thought you’ve wished a summer breakup and be free
But I was wrong to think that you’re leaving To let everyone to know that I will be grieving Yet I’m happy I must admit deep in my heart You asked me to try again and have a brand new start
bits of chronicled garbage pile of filthy trash scattered all around the area hills and mounds of unborn agenda feel like sweeping it all clean burning them all, where do i begin
dried leaves of an abandoned great summers messy crumpled and unused bonds of papers electric fans’ blades resting at the far corner diplomas of heroes hanging in a lazy cluster
litters of menthol cold candy wrappers empty boxes of bath soaps used by actors immaculate run-down panty shields under the bed damaged and forsaken biscuit boxes left for dead
golden counts of unused tooth brushes smudged by time under the kitchen cabinet hiding from a crime carved cockroach bite on destitute boxes of English pasta dozens old magazines fossilized by a forgotten era
now a fallen iron these rusty guns on the floor these might have killed a thousand and a lot more these killing bullets of yore should have exploded then so nothing from the past could be used for the present
these olden things of ancient times, these stuffs and belongings garbage for others, a memory for some, a treasure for the keepers stories behind them were not known to many let time decides their future, their saga, their continuing story…
when i close my eyes
i see a lot
what i hear
what i dream
what i discern
more than i could figure out
the candle light in the dark
is Hope seeking to be pursued
more than anyone could feel
seeing behind the walls
the matters of the troubled past...
when i close my eyes
the right path appears
the footprints that i follow
the shadow that i chase
are the blessed route to trail...
when i close my eyes
the truth comes adrift
what's in my heart
are treasures that i keep
are goodness that i outreach...
closing my eyes
things are seen and noticed
when to draw conclusions
weigh a lot of doubts
decisions are folded...
when i close my eyes
i'm opening a book
an experience appearing to my mind
vividly,exploring the world
scouring the sea and sky
in a quest that will come to be...
I knocked at your door
I heard a voice
I knocked once more
'Till the voice flee
Outside the house
A playful young crowd
To be with them
They called me
Playing was a child's hour
With fellow children
With the neighborhood
An hour became forgetting
I remembered you
You were sick in bed
Not able to get up
But I can't go inside
The door was locked
The key I can't find
Knocked, knocked, I did
The silence listened
Neighbors lend a hand
'Till the you no more
Angels lifted you
I was a child...
I cried for you
'Till today, Mama
Missing our yester years
I was a child...
And today, I raised
A loving family
Right virtues you taught
Kept them with me
Now, a man of today
Treading the path you've learned
The right one for me, since
I was a child...
i don't care what it is aptly called
a muscular organ and it certainly beats
one hundred thousand times in a day
pumping blood throughout the whole body
roughly the size of a large fist
four chambers, two lower, two upper
right atrium and right ventricle
same with the left,to many, it's a puzzle
why the throbbing is so terribly fast
when i hear your lovely stupid name
it beats horribly in full speed
same surname as yours as i read
when i hear laughter thinking it's yours
giggling is too much when it surprisingly occurs
your face i see when i thought of a similar smile
swiftly it goes to neutral and hopefully mild
your anger makes this heart palpitate
shortness of breath and the struggle is so great
need to be calm to drive this heart at peace
stress and anxiety need to be freed and released
this heart needs love and someone to care
to brighten up the night and jubilation to share
i only have a heart and honesty to give
you have truth and honor for us to weave...
something is obscure i know not what
some kind of learning believed to be a fact
buried and concealed like a hermit almost unseen
like a naked body in view but the soul is hidden
pages of events of the olden past
secrets unrevealed that's touted to last
in the cupboards of heralded beats of shouts
quivering truth silenced by fear not to let it out
but when is the right time to betray the wraps
peel the cover don't let the time to lapse
what has been tightened has to be unlocked
and let the whole world rejoice, clap,clap,clap
let me kneel my love in front of you
and deliver this message while it's not due
it's been a long time that i wanted this to be free
i love you my love, i ask, "Will you marry me?"
My fingers kept tapping the keys
I would begin, stop, begin again
My mind would dictate what I write
The sentences would not be right
But I continued to tap the keys
And I heard slow music escaping
the sharpness of my consciousness
The sleepy me, now tapping the keys
With one finger like dipping into a sauce
'Till I dropped my head on the table
losing consciousness but, I heard music
A different kind, but soft........
So soft I got drowned into it until a hand
Tapped my back and a voice got into my ear,
"You're in Heaven My son. You had
a heart attack and didn't survived."
I didn't survive? How come? But I heard you
talking to me. We're talking to each other.
Besides, I'm too young to... to be attacked
by a....heart attack? But I'm not bulging fat,
I'm so thin and too young to be dead!
"My son, wake up! You're late!" Late, what?
"It's your funeral, wake up and get yourself
ready.You'll have to be in your coffin in an
hour.The priest is coming."
How would I end this story? I'm so sleepy.
I better transfer to my bed than here at the
table. Hhmmm. I can sleep soundly on my bed.
I better go to sleep now. I'll dream
the ending of my dream...story..... BBzzzzz!
at the verge of early sleeping
it always rains
minding will cut a breath
unattached naked wings flying...
golden droplets on the sleepy ground
bouncing sideways up and down
feathered hippos defining a chance
marching backwards with wooden guns...
sounds antiquated newer trumpets
biting tongues butterflies twisted
heavy bodies can't make a gentle stand
paper and pens behaved like sleepy drunks...
shaking fingers damaged brain
orange and green ink lightly stained
flying alphabets in colored prism
worn-out nets catching words in pain...
nails and cannons as fighting pairs
convincing precision shooting without fear
gallantly fighting like old tortoises
written words are placed in exact places...
columns and lines are deadly ready
marching on to a much needed victory
pasted thoughts are now on snowy paper
sunrise will hear the final chapter...
lazy bodies sitting on the bed
awakened thoughts are rich not dead
clear beautiful lines are instead written
not to fade away not easily forgotten...
--o0o--
Is it unusual to make a post out of a comment from a confidant? This concerns about the images during my sleep. I am a little bit distracted about the causes of those images . Why that kind of images in succession was created in my mind as I was at rest.
Last week, I wrote about my dreams and at the last part of the post I ask if there’s anyone who can interpret scenes in my dream. Tony A. was the one who made an “in-depth analysis” of my dream. He replied intelligently about the images that appeared in my dreams. He acted like a psychiatrist, scientist, and a fortune teller at the same time. (smiles) But thanks to him, he was right. His interpretation was exactly what I was thinking everyday after all these months of the pandemic. Here’s the portion from my post last week for those who were not able to read the part:
Scene 1 :
“The queue was long and people were conversing with each other and overheard this. “What’s the job you’re applying for?” I was puzzled to be in that queue, lining for a job interview. ………I heard it. “He’s too gentle for the job.” I got more confused and clueless about the whole thing. “
Scene 2 :
“In that space of nothingness, I met my brother-in-law on a bike while I was waiting for a ride. I don’t know where I was going to. With my knapsack strapped on my back, I saw his face. He was a little bit concerned where I was going.“
Tony A. :
Here is Tony A.’s analysis :
“The queue outside the church represents the work and social connections of the society you live in. The ‘too gentle’ advice is you accepting you don’t fit into the pattern. The link with your brother -in-law shows you have a desire to travel and leave your present environment but have no definite plans -hence the look of concern on his face.”
I find his dissection of the scenes correct. The interpretation was precise. In anticipation of my desire to return to the big city was a big obstacle for me since I keep on worrying when it would be possible. Since the first lockdown in the country was imposed, I have already spent months in the province. And that’s what I’ve been thinking of. In addition, I really miss travelling inside and outside the country. One trip has already been cancelled due to this virus pandemic.
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